Saturday, January 22, 2005

Weeeez gonnna build a SNOWMAN! Or maybe a SNOW DOG!

Anyone ever build a true snowman? Tell me about it :)

This is my only fuckin' option for golf these days :(

I did manage to play 2 weeks ago when it was 61 degrees in New York City. It is about -2 out now and something like 20 inches are coming.


Let's go.

Thursday, January 20, 2005

It would seem Mr. Potato Head has met his maker!

The force is with this toy!

Snoop should make a Mr. Po-Shizzle-Head.

So I just ate the Belgian Waffle, Turkey Bacon Lunch!

I had been craving it since late last night. KRUSTEEZ belgian waffle mix and Louis Rich Turkey Bacon. I hate turkey bacon. This fuckin' turkey bacon is from a different planet of turkey bacon. Like from the fuckin' planet "This ain't yo momma's turkey bacon planet." Go to the Wegman's nearest you and buy 2 or 3 packages of the stuff.


Actual photo of my Belgian Waffle Making Device!

Actual photo of my lunch!

It's that serious!


Oh GOD, Yes!

It don't get no resp'eggt.

If you really think about it, it's pretty fuckin' hard on your throat to drink soda.

I love soda (or POP as they say in other parts of the US). Most people truly enjoy soda.

Why do we love drinking something that burns the throat so much?

I'm actually not sure. What do you people think about soda in general? Why do we deal with it's burning down the throat with such enjoyment?

Has anyone else had that first sip of 7-UP and you almost choke because of the fiery bubble factor going down the esophagus? I want to hear about your soda trauma!

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

I just opened my window to get some cool air and was blindsided by the OBSCENE FRIGIDITY!

The window is now closed.

Goddamn fucking! All of the comments vanished and I was unable to post until right now!

I thought their software looked cool so I tried to use it. BIG MISTAKE! They have an AUTOLOAD feature which basically removes/hides all of the comments of a blog and replaces it with HALOSCAN's proprietary commenting tool. I apologize for the comments being down, it will not happen again or I will beat myself with my own stick (and then post video of me doing said activity.)

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

No matter how busy work gets today, I will get a hair cut. FINALLY!

It almost looks this nasty. This is the longest I have gone without a hair cut since 1999.

Maybe underneath the layers of hair there is a buried treasure.

And maybe underneath the other side there is a treasure map.

Maybe, after the haircut I will find the buried treasure of Lichtenburg hiding all these years in my scalp.

I cannot wait to have my own home complete with fuckin' big back yard, 2 car garage, fireplace, fuckin' jacuzzi and...

my own personal mailbox with that little fuckin' lever thing that lets the mail-person know when there is something (in a Stewie from family guy voice) in the diaper!

Here's to buying a house in 2007'ish.

(Glass raised, who is toasting with me w00t!)

Monday, January 17, 2005

3000th hit in less then 2 weeks! That deserves a dancing SPIDER MAN!

Thank you all for visiting me. Look for daily updated content and overall fun for years to come.

I love blogging goddamnit!

3 Cheers to blog.

Blog. Blog. Blog.

I want to shoot blog into my veins and snort blog.

Sunday, January 16, 2005

So today we are taking a mini road trip to Philadelphia, PA - For the ALL American Food/ALL American Movie Experience!!! YeeHaw!!! and Wheeee!!!

For no reason I will begin this with a RUN ON SENTENCE...

My wife and I have been watching this show on the FOOD NETWORK called UNWRAPPED hosted by the OBSCENELY-OVER-NICE-AND-HOMELY Marc Summers, the dude who used to host everyones favorite LAUNCH green slop at your mom, jump through a mouth of vomitous dung, then down the slide to win the new casio in 60 seconds or less game show on NICKELODEON, DOUBLE DARE! You know it. I know you know what I'm tawkin' bout...

Anyhow, on UNWRAPPED with Marc Summers, (from Nickelodeon DOUBLE DARE), they often showcase exciting places in the USA to visit.

Places like NIFTY FIFTY's in good ol' PA!

So, we are off to partake in obscene amounts of carbonated water (soda) with unique, tasty syrups and the over-all 50's style.

I will order:

1 American cheeseburger.
1 French fries.
5 Sodas, all with varying syrups.
1 Warmed up apple pie a-la-mode (vanilla chocolate chip) with whipped cream.

I am very much hoping to see some form of waitperson on rollerskates fall down with at least 6 drinks going down with them, preferably onto a large, surly man named Pablo, who takes offence!

Actually, I hope nothin' happens except good times all around for everybody. :D

After the NIFTY FIFTY we are shooting over to the steps where ROCKY was filmed so we can PUKE incessantly after I BEAT my wife.........

BEAT her up the steps that is, by running at an incredible rate, thusly passing her and onto the summit. Where...

(In a Stewie from family guy voice).

What the DEUCE?

How many years until we are just completely taken over by computer chips?

Where else can they put computer chips to further enhance human lazyness?

Anyone have any quality suggestions? Or shitty suggestions are also allowed on this blog, feel free to go nuts!

Here is the article that spawned this post:

Motorola on Friday announced a joint venture with eyewear maker Oakley Inc. to develop new Bluetooth-enabled wearable wireless communications devices.

Motorola said it is working with Oakley to combine its Bluetooth technology, which allows devices to communicate with each other without a physical wire connection, with Oakley's eyewear concepts.

It said details and designs will be unveiled by the middle of the year.