Man, is this a rocking animated gif or what...

Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes ya don't.

Drink timing and debating if I need yet another sip or not.

So I have realized that I have an amazing sense for drink timing.

How do you handle this situation?

FYI - Drink timing is when you are out at a restaurant and you order, say a soda pop.

Then, after the appetizer you have about half of the drink left. Do you then finish off that first drink and order a second drink?...

OR

Do you wait it out and keep the first drink still fizzy and fresh for as long as you possibly can before the need arises to order up that second drink?

I am the type who will hold out and see if I can get one entire drink into a single meal. Like at lunch today, my last bite coincided with my last few sips on my coke with no ice. It was a wonderful meal then ended as it should, with that one final pull of beverage through the straw that has at least 3 full sips in it to ensure the full experience is felt...1 or 2 is simply not enough.

Discuss.

I just got such an urge to eat a semi sweet chocolate chip morsel.

So I scurried over to the kitchen cabinet and low and behold there was a bag full of the tasty little beauties!

I partook in about 20 of those suckers and then closed the bag, put it away and came back into my office...

Just before I was going to sit back down another urge jolted through my body...

I had to have at least 2 more morsels...

I went back into the kitchen, had 4 more morsels and now I am satisfied!!!



(The strawberry in the photo is just a visual vehicle for the chocoloate chips that I have just posted about).

STOP BEING COLD ALREADY!

Its downright blustery!

Humans should not have to live in this obscene cold.

I want 75 degrees and umbrella drinks goddamnit.

The weather man just explained how frost bite can set in within 30 minutes at these temperatures.

Can anyone say long johns?

9 out of 10 dogs prefer JIF brand peanut butter!

The other 1 prefers SKIPPY.

Trying to get into my car I stepped into the biggest fuckin' pile of slosh!

I had no idea the snow was that deep there...Went in all the way up to my mid-ankles.

Needless to say I had:

Anyone else ever eat Sour cream and nut loaf?

Good lord its a truly wonderful loaf cake!

So, Vinny, my landlord got hit with a fuckin' building inspection out of the blue. So they rang my fuckin' bell and woke my ass up!

I had to put together my ensemble very quickly so of course I took my green golf pants and then selected my short sleeve hawaiian shirt. I ran downstairs opened the door up to the deep freeze and the inspectors. Needless to say they were quite intrigued with my appearance, especially in these sub-zero temperatures :)

I love tropical weather so much :)

Just woke up a few minutes ago...

My throat feels like a mack truck has parked inside it.

Time for a spot of TEA and SCRUMPETS!

Word.

All joking aside this was truly fucked up.

Anyone who okayed this song being played should be put in jail for a decent length.

I have gotten many emails praising what I am doing with the blog! I appreciate all of the positive responses! I will always be here doing this shit.

I fuckin' love blog.

I would like for some of you to give me topics. Im going to start blogging about topics you give me a few times a week.

Ask me anything. I shall blog about it.

Just watch :)

Comment below OR simply email me - blogsmack@gmail.com

I look forward to this.

-Sam :)

I cannot fucking believe the amount of garbage and true STANK in the New York City train stations.

I had a meeting in downtown NYC this morning. Every station I was in had huge piles of trash and just permeated a warm, disgusting, vomitous foul stench.

CLEAN IT UP FOLKS! JESUS H. CHRIST!

Where are the clean train stations?

Holy snow shit batman! You simply have no chance to dig your car out of the snow today. UNLESS you...

1. Hire a team of at least 6 eskimoes.

2. Find them on way-out-in-the-fuckin'-arctic.craigslist.org.

3. Fly them in from the Arctic via QANTAS.

4. Ensure their trasport from the airport to the snow effected area that concerns you via black stretch lincoln limo.

5. Rent a snow plow from a local eskimo sno plow rental dealer.

6. Have the head eskimo eat a sandwich.

7. He then deserves pie for struggle!

8. Have the other 5 eskimoes pile into the snow plow, thus setting the guinness world record for number of eskimoes smooshed into a regulation size snow plow.

9. Have the 5 eskimoes step on the gas pedal after starting up said plow.

10. Have the 5 eskimoes plow that snow.

11. Pay the 5 eskimoes who plowed in fish.

12. Ask the 6th eskimo if he wants to stay until next year.

That is the only option for todays snow removal around my car.

Do you have any alternatives for the snow removal that is completely covering my car?

Thank you for your support (In a Bartles & James voice).

Email me if you do not know who Bartles & James are.

Again, thanks.